1
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:07,205
Jeannie?
Jeannie, you ready?
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,010
Hey, we're gonna be late
for the ballgame.
3
00:00:10,066 --> 00:00:11,633
Okay, let's...
4
00:00:11,570 --> 00:00:13,538
Is that how you dress
to go to a ballgame?
5
00:00:13,459 --> 00:00:15,927
Oh, no, master. This is
how I dress to be married.
6
00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:18,328
Well... who are you
gonna marry, Sandy Koufax?
7
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:19,795
No, you, master.
8
00:00:19,731 --> 00:00:21,965
Oh, now, Jeannie. We've been
through all this before.
9
00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:23,075
I can't marry you.
10
00:00:23,027 --> 00:00:24,995
But you said you care for me.
11
00:00:24,915 --> 00:00:26,449
I do. I do.
12
00:00:26,388 --> 00:00:29,157
I think you're the most
wonderful woman I've ever met.
13
00:00:29,044 --> 00:00:30,644
You're adorable.
Well, then.
14
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:31,980
There's no problem.
15
00:00:34,004 --> 00:00:37,473
We are gathered here today to
join this man and this woman...
16
00:00:37,332 --> 00:00:38,599
Now hold it.
Hold it. Hold it.
17
00:00:38,548 --> 00:00:40,717
We're gathered here today
to go to a baseball game.
18
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,096
Jeannie, would you
get rid of him.
19
00:00:42,037 --> 00:00:43,504
I don't have a ticket for him.
20
00:00:43,445 --> 00:00:45,080
If you care for me so much,
21
00:00:45,014 --> 00:00:47,314
why is it so difficult
to say "I do"?
22
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,222
Well, it's not difficult.
It's impossible.
23
00:00:49,141 --> 00:00:50,942
Well, Roger wishes to marry me.
24
00:00:50,869 --> 00:00:52,737
All right, fine.
Then marry Roger.
25
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,351
Now wait a minute...
Wait, Jeannie.
26
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,254
Jeannie, I'm sorry.
I di... I didn't mean that.
27
00:00:57,175 --> 00:00:58,855
Jeannie, I was only joking.
28
00:01:02,007 --> 00:01:04,742
[?]
29
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:12,432
Advertise your product or brand here
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30
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,982
WOMAN 1 [ON TV]: There's
only one man I love. John.
31
00:01:56,892 --> 00:01:59,927
WOMAN 2 [ON TV]: But you've told me
that John doesn't want to marry you.
32
00:01:59,804 --> 00:02:03,374
WOMAN 1: That's why I've come to you.
I need your advice, Mother.
33
00:02:03,229 --> 00:02:05,997
WOMAN 2: On the other hand,
there is a man you do love,
34
00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:08,320
but who doesn't
want to marry you.
35
00:02:08,221 --> 00:02:10,956
WOMAN 1: What am I going
to do, Mother, dear?
36
00:02:10,845 --> 00:02:12,846
Oh, yes. What are we
going to do?
37
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:15,366
WOMAN 2: Susan, you did the right
thing to come to your mother.
38
00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:18,698
There's only one way to get
him to propose to you.
39
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:20,893
ANNOUNCER: Tune in at
the same time tomorrow,
40
00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:23,867
and learn what Susan's mother
advises her to do.
41
00:02:24,734 --> 00:02:26,302
[SHUTS TV OFF]
42
00:02:28,094 --> 00:02:31,196
Mother. Of course.
43
00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:33,539
This is a time when
a girl needs her mother.
44
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,124
Mama!
45
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,948
Oh, little dove!
46
00:02:39,872 --> 00:02:41,873
My darling, darling child.
47
00:02:41,792 --> 00:02:43,993
It's so good to see you again.
48
00:02:43,904 --> 00:02:46,906
Two thousand years,
and not one letter.
49
00:02:46,785 --> 00:02:48,886
Oh, I... I have
been busy.
50
00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:50,814
Children.
51
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:53,655
Mama... I'm in love
with my master,
52
00:02:53,537 --> 00:02:54,937
and I wish to marry him.
53
00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:57,850
Can he support thee?
What does he do for a living?
54
00:02:57,729 --> 00:02:58,895
He is an astronaut.
55
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:00,450
An astronaut?
Mm-hm.
56
00:03:00,385 --> 00:03:01,820
What is that?
57
00:03:01,762 --> 00:03:03,428
Well, they strap him in
this giant bird
58
00:03:03,361 --> 00:03:04,661
they call a missile,
59
00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:06,811
and he goes up into the sky,
and around and around
60
00:03:06,722 --> 00:03:08,456
the Earth for days
without stopping.
61
00:03:08,386 --> 00:03:10,754
A-and sometimes
he walks in space.
62
00:03:11,651 --> 00:03:13,918
Thou could not marry a doctor?
63
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:16,995
Why, I am not in love
with a doctor, Mama.
64
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:21,233
Oh, I need your advice...
65
00:03:21,123 --> 00:03:23,524
My master does not
want to marry me.
66
00:03:23,427 --> 00:03:25,295
But his friend Roger does.
67
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:26,720
Then marry his friend Roger.
68
00:03:26,659 --> 00:03:28,427
You are not getting any younger.
69
00:03:28,356 --> 00:03:31,659
Well, I...
I like Roger, but...
70
00:03:31,525 --> 00:03:33,225
You brought me back for advice,
71
00:03:33,157 --> 00:03:34,357
I will give it to thee.
72
00:03:38,917 --> 00:03:42,486
Tell this Roger you are
going to marry him.
73
00:03:42,341 --> 00:03:44,042
Oh, but that would be dishonest.
74
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,874
Show me a woman who is honest,
75
00:03:45,797 --> 00:03:47,698
and I will show you an old maid.
76
00:03:47,621 --> 00:03:49,722
Do not worry, dear one.
77
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:51,873
Thou wilt not marry Roger.
78
00:03:51,783 --> 00:03:53,984
Your astronaut will
come to his senses
79
00:03:53,895 --> 00:03:55,295
and marry you himself.
80
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:57,240
Do you really think
this will come to pass?
81
00:03:57,159 --> 00:03:58,893
That is how I got your father.
82
00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:27,001
[SIGHS]
83
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:32,152
Good evening, master.
84
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,666
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
85
00:04:35,018 --> 00:04:36,618
Oh, thanks.
86
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,378
You worked late tonight, master.
87
00:04:39,307 --> 00:04:40,874
Did you have a hard day?
88
00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:42,144
A bone-crusher.
89
00:04:42,091 --> 00:04:44,559
Aw...
Poor master.
90
00:04:44,459 --> 00:04:46,326
Here. Come over here
and be comfortable.
91
00:04:46,731 --> 00:04:48,131
Lie down.
92
00:04:48,972 --> 00:04:50,872
Put your feet up.
Uh-huh.
93
00:04:51,788 --> 00:04:54,457
And, uh, here is your newspaper.
94
00:04:54,349 --> 00:04:57,917
And... here's the rest
of your martini.
95
00:04:58,796 --> 00:05:01,464
Wow.
Thanks, Jeannie.
96
00:05:01,356 --> 00:05:02,924
I've made a special dish
for your dinner.
97
00:05:02,861 --> 00:05:04,161
And you will never guess
98
00:05:04,109 --> 00:05:05,910
what I have waiting for you
in the kitchen.
99
00:05:05,837 --> 00:05:06,937
Your mother.
100
00:05:06,893 --> 00:05:08,894
Well, yes.
101
00:05:08,813 --> 00:05:10,514
Your mother!
You can't be serious!
102
00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:11,245
Yes...
103
00:05:11,213 --> 00:05:12,514
What are you talking...?
No...
104
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:13,562
I can't even explain you,
105
00:05:13,518 --> 00:05:14,618
much less your mother.
106
00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:16,074
She will only be here
for a few days.
107
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:17,781
I don't care if she's
here for a few hours.
108
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:18,843
You send her back!
109
00:05:18,798 --> 00:05:19,998
Well, she eats very little,
110
00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:21,318
and I will take
good care of her.
111
00:05:21,263 --> 00:05:23,130
You... You can't even
take care of yourself.
112
00:05:23,054 --> 00:05:24,054
[SHEEP BLEATS]
113
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,314
Ahh!
Ahh!
114
00:05:25,262 --> 00:05:26,797
Oh.
[BLEATS]
115
00:05:26,735 --> 00:05:28,836
Oh, master, I am so sorry.
116
00:05:30,191 --> 00:05:32,993
I, uh... I know you must
find this a little strange.
117
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,714
Strange? No. No.
118
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,374
It... It's not strange
at all,
119
00:05:36,304 --> 00:05:38,204
falling over a sheep
in your own living room.
120
00:05:38,127 --> 00:05:40,047
No, I don't think it's strange.
Come on.
121
00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:41,819
[GASPS]
122
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,643
Take your hands off
that sheep, infidel.
123
00:05:43,568 --> 00:05:45,168
It is for the wedding feast.
124
00:05:45,104 --> 00:05:46,972
The wedding fe...?
No... The wedding feast?
125
00:05:46,896 --> 00:05:48,630
Did you tell her
we're getting married?
126
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,428
Certainly not, master.
That would be a lie.
127
00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:51,386
That's right.
128
00:05:51,345 --> 00:05:52,645
Because I'm not marrying you.
129
00:05:52,592 --> 00:05:53,660
That's right.
130
00:05:53,618 --> 00:05:54,717
I'm going to marry Roger.
131
00:05:54,673 --> 00:05:55,840
She's gonna marry Roger.
132
00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:57,094
You're...
You're not serious.
133
00:05:57,042 --> 00:05:58,041
Well, I...
134
00:05:58,001 --> 00:05:59,101
Of course she is serious.
135
00:05:59,057 --> 00:06:00,124
Of course I am serious.
136
00:06:00,081 --> 00:06:01,515
Yeah, but you can't marry Roger.
137
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,625
And why not?
He loves her.
138
00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:03,711
Well, yes.
Why not?
139
00:06:03,666 --> 00:06:05,000
He loves me.
140
00:06:04,946 --> 00:06:07,013
Because... Because I'd
miss you, that's why.
141
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,666
Oh. Oh, and I would
miss thee too.
142
00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:12,502
Then you're not
gonna marry Roger?
143
00:06:12,435 --> 00:06:14,136
The sheep is already here.
144
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:16,902
Perhaps you can think
of another solution.
145
00:06:16,787 --> 00:06:18,287
How about lamb chops for dinner?
146
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:20,629
I will marry him.
147
00:06:20,532 --> 00:06:22,700
I-I wouldn't put that wedding
dress back on just yet
148
00:06:22,612 --> 00:06:23,612
if I were you.
149
00:06:23,572 --> 00:06:24,972
Roger's pretty unpredictable.
150
00:06:24,916 --> 00:06:26,417
As a matter of fact,
around the base
151
00:06:26,357 --> 00:06:27,824
he's known as "Old Fickle."
152
00:06:27,765 --> 00:06:28,765
Fickle!
153
00:06:30,164 --> 00:06:31,498
[GIGGLES]
154
00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:32,812
Oh, Mama, I think it is working.
155
00:06:32,757 --> 00:06:34,124
He is jealous.
[DOOR CLOSES]
156
00:06:34,069 --> 00:06:35,236
What shall I do next?
157
00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:36,955
That does not worry me,
little pigeon.
158
00:06:36,884 --> 00:06:39,253
What worries me is
what he will do next.
159
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,625
Oh.
160
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,286
Hi, Roge.
What's the good word?
161
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:43,844
The good word is yes.
162
00:06:43,798 --> 00:06:45,565
I ran into Jeannie,
popped the question,
163
00:06:45,494 --> 00:06:47,662
and she said she would
marry me. Me!
164
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,541
Did she really?
Well, congratulations.
165
00:06:49,462 --> 00:06:51,062
From now on, it's
marriage-a-go-go.
166
00:06:50,998 --> 00:06:52,265
[BOTH LAUGH]
167
00:06:52,214 --> 00:06:54,082
Couldn't... Couldn't
happen to a finer guy.
168
00:06:54,006 --> 00:06:55,107
We're meeting for lunch.
169
00:06:55,063 --> 00:06:56,296
We're going over our plans.
170
00:06:56,247 --> 00:06:58,315
Yeah. I'll bet
her parents were delirious
171
00:06:58,231 --> 00:07:00,298
when they found out Jeannie
got a catch like you.
172
00:07:00,215 --> 00:07:03,317
Well, I, uh...
I haven't met her parents yet.
173
00:07:03,191 --> 00:07:04,592
Oh, they're out of town, huh?
174
00:07:04,536 --> 00:07:07,872
Well, I... I don't know.
I-I suppose so. It's...
175
00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:10,437
Well, where are they when you
pick Jeannie up at her house?
176
00:07:10,328 --> 00:07:12,796
Well, I-I've never been to
Jeannie's house before. It's...
177
00:07:12,696 --> 00:07:14,897
Well, where do you meet?
178
00:07:14,808 --> 00:07:17,043
In front of the public library.
179
00:07:16,952 --> 00:07:18,353
Well, she must have a house.
180
00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:20,698
Or your gonna be married
at the return book counter.
181
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:22,335
[LAUGHS]
182
00:07:22,265 --> 00:07:23,933
You know, until
you mentioned it,
183
00:07:23,866 --> 00:07:27,001
I never really gave her parents
or her home a thought.
184
00:07:26,874 --> 00:07:30,576
Well, parents... homes...
What's the difference?
185
00:07:30,425 --> 00:07:32,626
The important thing is,
you love her.
186
00:07:32,537 --> 00:07:33,905
That's right.
That's the imp...
187
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:36,017
Right. And you'll have
plenty of opportunity
188
00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:37,931
to get to know her parents
once you're married,
189
00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:38,950
and they move in with you.
190
00:07:38,906 --> 00:07:40,073
M-move in?
191
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,495
Oh, you know, when they
come to visit. Oh.
192
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,661
Oh, boy, all you have to do
193
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:45,011
is take a look at that girl
194
00:07:44,955 --> 00:07:46,589
and know that
her parents have to be
195
00:07:46,523 --> 00:07:48,190
fine, intelligent people.
196
00:07:48,123 --> 00:07:51,325
No. She wasn't brought up
by... By convicts
197
00:07:51,195 --> 00:07:52,495
or counterfeiters, you know.
198
00:07:52,443 --> 00:07:54,611
I think fine, intelligent people
would like to meet
199
00:07:54,523 --> 00:07:56,391
the man their daughter's
gonna marry.
200
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:58,183
Yeah.
201
00:07:58,108 --> 00:08:00,910
Well... Th... There's
all kinds of good reasons
202
00:08:00,796 --> 00:08:02,331
why they haven't met you yet.
203
00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:04,570
Uh. Well,
for instance, uh...
204
00:08:04,477 --> 00:08:06,178
Uh...
205
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,209
No.
206
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:11,784
Or, uh, they might have,
uh, been, uh...
207
00:08:11,645 --> 00:08:12,779
[SIGHS]
208
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:14,034
Well, no...
I'll tell you what.
209
00:08:13,982 --> 00:08:16,383
It's possible.
It's just...
210
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:17,753
[SIGHS]
211
00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:18,861
The important thing is
212
00:08:18,814 --> 00:08:20,414
you're marrying
a wonderful girl.
213
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:21,984
That's the important thing.
214
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,285
Yes. I'll see you
later, Roge.
215
00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:24,731
Maybe we'll get a chance to
216
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,572
crack a bottle
of champagne tonight, huh?
217
00:08:26,495 --> 00:08:27,728
[MUTTERING TO HIMSELF]
218
00:08:31,967 --> 00:08:33,635
Well, there are many,
uh, good reasons
219
00:08:33,568 --> 00:08:35,202
why I haven't met her parents.
220
00:08:35,136 --> 00:08:37,671
You know, they could've
been out of...
221
00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:39,668
Probably... Well,
they are probably, uh...
222
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:40,704
It's very easy to, uh...
223
00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,427
Convicts and counterfeiters?
224
00:08:47,809 --> 00:08:48,909
I do not understand it.
225
00:08:48,865 --> 00:08:51,667
All during lunch
Roger kept insisting.
226
00:08:51,553 --> 00:08:52,853
How can I invite him to my house
227
00:08:52,801 --> 00:08:54,502
when I do not have one?
228
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:57,502
And worse yet, you do not
have parents either.
229
00:08:57,378 --> 00:08:58,478
Oh.
I have you, Mama.
230
00:08:58,434 --> 00:08:59,967
And I could send for Papa.
231
00:08:59,905 --> 00:09:02,507
I would be proud
to have Roger meet you.
232
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,702
No, no, little one.
233
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:06,152
We are peasants
from the old country.
234
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:08,451
One look at us, and there
goeth the ballgame.
235
00:09:08,354 --> 00:09:09,621
[LAUGHS]
236
00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,337
Where did you
learn that expression?
237
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:13,501
From watching that box
you call television.
238
00:09:13,411 --> 00:09:14,812
[CHUCKLES]
239
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,021
[GASPS]
240
00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:17,939
I know what you need.
241
00:09:18,947 --> 00:09:22,016
The American mama
you see on television.
242
00:09:21,891 --> 00:09:25,261
The one who keeps comparing
hands with her daughter.
243
00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:26,424
You think so, Mama?
244
00:09:26,372 --> 00:09:27,973
I'm certain of it.
245
00:09:27,909 --> 00:09:32,045
And for the father, get yourself
that nice fellow who...
246
00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:35,046
Who seems to have so much
trouble with his sinuses.
247
00:09:34,917 --> 00:09:38,820
Mama. I'm so glad
I sent for you.
248
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,929
And I know just where I'm going
249
00:09:40,837 --> 00:09:42,271
to get the house too.
250
00:09:42,213 --> 00:09:43,447
[GIGGLES]
251
00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:53,240
Oh...
252
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:55,471
Oh, there is my master.
253
00:10:02,151 --> 00:10:04,320
Well, Mama, how's
every little thing?
254
00:10:04,232 --> 00:10:06,132
You dare to show your face here?
255
00:10:06,055 --> 00:10:08,724
Look who's talking.
It's my house.
256
00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:11,251
And I suppose it was not you
who persuaded Roger to insist
257
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,712
upon meeting my daughter's
parents and seeing her home.
258
00:10:13,608 --> 00:10:15,075
Well, I, uh...
259
00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:16,750
I suppose I did
drop a hint or two.
260
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,547
Is... Is Jeannie
terribly disappointed
261
00:10:18,472 --> 00:10:20,073
about her marriage
being called off?
262
00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:21,443
Wait and see.
263
00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:22,665
[DOORBELL RINGS]
264
00:10:25,769 --> 00:10:26,769
Yes?
265
00:10:26,729 --> 00:10:27,796
Oh, hello, sir.
266
00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:28,920
I can only stay a moment.
267
00:10:28,874 --> 00:10:30,708
I just want to say hello
to my new neighbor.
268
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:32,335
Uh... Oh, you bought
a house around here?
269
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:33,599
Oh, not a house.
270
00:10:33,546 --> 00:10:35,414
The vacant lot across
the street from you.
271
00:10:35,338 --> 00:10:36,939
Uh, Mrs. Bellows and I
are gonna start
272
00:10:36,875 --> 00:10:38,142
building very shortly.
273
00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:40,258
Well, you can always borrow
a cup of sugar here.
274
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,405
May the vultures descend
275
00:10:42,315 --> 00:10:44,850
and pick your bones.
276
00:10:46,732 --> 00:10:47,798
Uh...
277
00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:48,756
[STAMMERS]
278
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:50,015
My housekeeper.
279
00:10:49,963 --> 00:10:52,332
We had a little argument
this morning about her salary.
280
00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:53,302
She, uh, wanted a raise.
281
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,027
And I wouldn't give
it to her, you know.
282
00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:04,143
"May the vultures descend
and pick your bones."
283
00:11:06,061 --> 00:11:07,795
Well... she's
a poor loser.
284
00:11:07,725 --> 00:11:08,825
[SHEEP BLEATS]
285
00:11:12,013 --> 00:11:13,614
[BLEATS]
286
00:11:24,271 --> 00:11:27,206
And I was worried about
moving in with a hamster.
287
00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:38,268
[SIGHS]
288
00:11:38,224 --> 00:11:40,458
Oh! Hi, Jeannie.
289
00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,870
How... How was
your lunch with Roger?
290
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:45,170
He's very anxious
to meet my parents.
291
00:11:45,073 --> 00:11:46,940
Oh, well, that's...
That's too bad.
292
00:11:46,864 --> 00:11:48,765
So he's going to meet Mama.
293
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:49,722
Hm.
294
00:11:49,681 --> 00:11:50,881
And Papa too.
295
00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:52,000
Ah.
296
00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:53,721
Your pa...
Your papa's here too?
297
00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,483
Oh, not yet.
298
00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:58,278
Captain Healey is going to
meet them at my house.
299
00:11:58,162 --> 00:11:59,228
[STAMMERS]
300
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,185
This is your house.
301
00:12:00,145 --> 00:12:01,380
I mean, this is your house.
302
00:12:01,331 --> 00:12:03,332
Oh, not today, master.
303
00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:05,051
I have my own home.
304
00:12:04,978 --> 00:12:06,545
Huh?
Uh...
305
00:12:06,482 --> 00:12:08,016
[PHONE RINGS]
306
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:13,475
Yes?
307
00:12:13,971 --> 00:12:16,840
Oh, hi, Roge.
308
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:19,893
What do you mean, you're gonna
meet her parents at her home?
309
00:12:19,764 --> 00:12:22,165
Oh, no. No. No, no.
310
00:12:22,068 --> 00:12:23,168
I'm not upset.
311
00:12:23,124 --> 00:12:25,225
I'm not upset at all.
Heh.
312
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,942
Hey, l-listen. Where did
you say, uh, she lives?
313
00:12:29,301 --> 00:12:31,034
Across the street from my house?
314
00:12:34,389 --> 00:12:36,757
Well...
Well, that's impossible.
315
00:12:36,661 --> 00:12:38,795
Well, there's a vacant lot
across the street.
316
00:12:54,743 --> 00:12:56,711
Listen, Roger.
When I say there's a vacant lot
317
00:12:56,631 --> 00:12:58,765
across the street,
I mean there's a house on it.
318
00:13:07,864 --> 00:13:09,430
Jeannie.
319
00:13:09,367 --> 00:13:11,669
Jeannie.
Jeannie, where are you?
320
00:13:11,576 --> 00:13:13,210
Jeannie?
Oh...
321
00:13:13,144 --> 00:13:14,177
Jeannie!
Now, you...
322
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:15,737
You take that house
right out of here.
323
00:13:15,673 --> 00:13:16,740
I'm not taking...
324
00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:18,864
You're not gonna
get away with this!
325
00:13:18,776 --> 00:13:19,843
Jeannie!
326
00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:30,243
Jeannie.
Jeannie, open up.
327
00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:32,137
Jeannie, come on.
328
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:34,024
Take this house
down this minute. Now...
329
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,181
Are you expected?
330
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:37,824
Oh, boy.
331
00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:39,289
Jeannie!
Jeannie!
332
00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:40,861
If you will leave your card,
333
00:13:40,795 --> 00:13:43,363
I will tell
my daughter you called.
334
00:13:44,219 --> 00:13:45,353
Jeannie, where are you?
335
00:13:56,541 --> 00:13:59,776
Ah, good afternoon,
Mr. Nelson.
336
00:13:59,645 --> 00:14:01,445
Teresa, will you please pour.
337
00:14:01,372 --> 00:14:02,873
Mr. Nelson a cup of tea.
338
00:14:03,996 --> 00:14:06,565
Teresa?
339
00:14:06,461 --> 00:14:07,961
Jeannie, I want you
to stop this nonsense,
340
00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:08,934
and I mean...
I mean it.
341
00:14:08,893 --> 00:14:10,294
I want you to
come home right now.
342
00:14:10,237 --> 00:14:12,638
I cannot ask you to
stay very long, Mr. Nelson.
343
00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:15,143
My fianc� is coming to meet
Mummy and Daddy.
344
00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:16,672
Mummy and Da... Daddy?
345
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,908
You mean, you whipped up
some phony parents too?
346
00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:20,649
Uh-huh.
The kind you see on television.
347
00:14:20,575 --> 00:14:22,208
It was Mama's suggestion.
348
00:14:22,142 --> 00:14:23,510
What do you think you're doing?
349
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:24,722
You won't get away with this!
350
00:14:24,671 --> 00:14:26,137
Oh, thanks.
I don't want any tea.
351
00:14:26,078 --> 00:14:27,346
I don't want any tea.
352
00:14:27,295 --> 00:14:29,496
You must calm yourself, master.
You are very upset.
353
00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:30,774
You're darn right I'm upset.
354
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:33,454
And I have every reason
in the world to be upset. Uh...
355
00:14:33,344 --> 00:14:35,011
Well, it's quite
a large lot, general.
356
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:37,145
Just across the street from
Captain Nelson's house.
357
00:14:37,056 --> 00:14:38,056
Oh, really?
Mm.
358
00:14:38,017 --> 00:14:39,884
[LAUGHING]
359
00:14:39,808 --> 00:14:41,275
It...
360
00:14:41,216 --> 00:14:43,484
It's Dr. Bellows,
and it's General Hadley.
361
00:14:43,392 --> 00:14:45,960
They're coming down the street.
They're coming right here.
362
00:14:45,856 --> 00:14:48,224
Oh, well, I will be
delighted to meet them.
363
00:14:48,129 --> 00:14:50,531
Oh no, you...
No, you don't understand.
364
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:51,433
You see...
365
00:14:51,393 --> 00:14:53,727
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
366
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:56,302
Dr. Bellows, he just
bought this lot.
367
00:14:56,194 --> 00:14:57,661
And he knows.
He just...
368
00:14:57,602 --> 00:14:59,103
He knows there's no house on it.
369
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:00,175
[BOTH LAUGH]
370
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,630
And he's gonna
want me to explain.
371
00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:04,039
And there is no explanation.
372
00:15:03,939 --> 00:15:06,373
Jeannie, do you want me
to plead insanity?
373
00:15:06,274 --> 00:15:09,476
Please, master.
Relax.
374
00:15:09,346 --> 00:15:11,781
I would never do
anything to hurt you.
375
00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:24,358
Good afternoon, Captain Nelson.
376
00:15:24,260 --> 00:15:27,329
Good afternoon, General Hadley.
377
00:15:27,204 --> 00:15:29,973
Captain, do you always drink tea
378
00:15:29,861 --> 00:15:31,562
in the middle of a vacant lot?
379
00:15:31,494 --> 00:15:33,227
Well, sir,
it was such a lovely afternoon,
380
00:15:33,157 --> 00:15:35,192
I thought I'd have
my tea out here...
381
00:15:35,109 --> 00:15:36,809
among the wildflowers.
382
00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:40,968
Do you do this often,
Captain Nelson?
383
00:15:40,869 --> 00:15:44,005
When I want to commune with
nature, sir...
384
00:15:43,878 --> 00:15:44,878
like Thoreau.
385
00:15:44,838 --> 00:15:46,372
Thoreau.
386
00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:48,711
Yes, yes. He used to
do it all the time.
387
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,710
Ah.
388
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,030
Well, I'd better go home
389
00:15:55,975 --> 00:15:57,341
and tend my sheep.
390
00:16:01,736 --> 00:16:02,836
Sheep.
391
00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:05,494
I'd keep an eye
on that man, doctor.
392
00:16:05,384 --> 00:16:07,585
Oh, I do, sir, all the time.
393
00:16:07,496 --> 00:16:09,197
He's done a number
of strange things,
394
00:16:09,129 --> 00:16:11,796
but I've never caught him
weed-sitting before.
395
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,847
Oh. Good evening,
doctor.
396
00:16:21,769 --> 00:16:23,436
Uh, general.
397
00:16:23,369 --> 00:16:25,337
You're working late,
Captain Healey?
398
00:16:25,257 --> 00:16:26,458
Uh, yes, I had a few, uh,
399
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:27,576
data reports to finish up.
400
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:28,830
I've got a big night planned.
401
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,879
I may be a little late
coming in tomorrow morning.
402
00:16:30,794 --> 00:16:33,061
Well, just see that Captain
Nelson is in before dawn.
403
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:34,638
He's been under
quite a strain lately.
404
00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:36,172
Well, I'm not
seeing Captain Nelson.
405
00:16:36,107 --> 00:16:37,740
I'm going to
my fianc�e's for dinner.
406
00:16:37,674 --> 00:16:38,674
But I might see him.
407
00:16:38,634 --> 00:16:40,102
He lives right
across the street.
408
00:16:40,043 --> 00:16:41,043
Across the street?
409
00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:42,303
There...
410
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,218
There's no house there.
That's my vacant lot.
411
00:16:44,139 --> 00:16:45,474
That can't be a vacant lot.
412
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,521
Well, it is when people
aren't drinking tea on it.
413
00:16:47,436 --> 00:16:49,337
The number is 1140 Oak Road.
414
00:16:49,261 --> 00:16:50,260
Well, general...
415
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:51,654
Good...
Doctor.
416
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:52,730
Have a nice evening.
417
00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:54,251
1140.
418
00:16:54,188 --> 00:16:56,790
That's the address
of my property.
419
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:59,886
He's having dinner
in a vacant lot.
420
00:16:59,756 --> 00:17:02,191
Better keep an eye on him too.
421
00:17:02,093 --> 00:17:04,394
One weed-sitter in
a space program is enough.
422
00:17:08,174 --> 00:17:09,675
There we are.
423
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:12,115
Now, after Roger has met
your parents... Yes.
424
00:17:12,014 --> 00:17:13,481
And you have had dinner,
425
00:17:13,422 --> 00:17:15,890
then sit in the chair
by the window with him.
426
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:18,159
W-why the chair
by the window, Mama?
427
00:17:18,063 --> 00:17:20,464
Because across the street
your master will be watching,
428
00:17:20,367 --> 00:17:22,134
and be sick with jealousy.
429
00:17:22,063 --> 00:17:23,464
Oh! Ha-ha!
430
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:24,473
[DOORBELL RINGS]
431
00:17:24,431 --> 00:17:25,598
Oh. There's Roger.
432
00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:27,753
Good. Bring out
your parents.
433
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,582
What do you think, Mama?
434
00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:42,463
There is something missing.
435
00:17:42,385 --> 00:17:43,585
But they look just like
436
00:17:43,537 --> 00:17:46,071
the people on
television commercials.
437
00:17:45,968 --> 00:17:48,328
She should have blond hair.
438
00:17:48,913 --> 00:17:49,979
Mm-hm.
439
00:17:53,329 --> 00:17:54,609
That's better.
440
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:57,745
He should look
more like he has money.
441
00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:03,786
What do you think?
442
00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:05,998
I think you are ready for Roger.
443
00:18:05,906 --> 00:18:07,940
Oh. Yes.
444
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:14,538
Hi, Jeannie.
445
00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:15,750
Good evening, Roger.
446
00:18:15,699 --> 00:18:17,533
I would like you
to meet my parents.
447
00:18:17,459 --> 00:18:20,028
Mummy and Daddy, this is Roger.
448
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,692
Hello. I've been
looking forward to, uh,
449
00:18:21,621 --> 00:18:23,421
meeting you two
for quite some time.
450
00:18:23,348 --> 00:18:25,783
When my daughter told me
she was engaged, I said,
451
00:18:25,684 --> 00:18:29,053
"Darling, blonds
do have more fun."
452
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,486
My wife used to be
a ratty brunette.
453
00:18:31,382 --> 00:18:36,319
WOMAN: Is your hair streaked
with dingy, unattractive gray?
454
00:18:36,118 --> 00:18:37,418
Mine was.
455
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,802
But then I learned
about... Streakaway.
456
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,657
MAN: Now I can't resist
asking her to dance.
457
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:45,533
Would you?
458
00:18:45,493 --> 00:18:47,128
Love to.
459
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,596
Do you like my mummy and daddy?
460
00:18:52,503 --> 00:18:53,503
Yeah, they're a...
461
00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:54,997
very, very romantic couple.
462
00:18:54,935 --> 00:18:57,037
I was just telling
your daughter how much in love
463
00:18:56,952 --> 00:18:58,352
you two seem to be.
464
00:18:58,296 --> 00:18:59,729
Why wouldn't I be?
465
00:18:59,671 --> 00:19:01,572
Her hands are
as soft now as they were
466
00:19:01,495 --> 00:19:02,829
when we were first married.
467
00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:06,112
WOMAN: I never use any
harsh detergents.
468
00:19:05,976 --> 00:19:08,778
My daughter and I have used
the same soap to wash dishes
469
00:19:08,665 --> 00:19:12,534
for years, and my hands
are as soft as hers.
470
00:19:12,377 --> 00:19:14,845
Would you care to make
the comparison test?
471
00:19:16,313 --> 00:19:18,247
They're lovely.
Both hands.
472
00:19:18,169 --> 00:19:19,437
Have you noticed,
473
00:19:19,386 --> 00:19:21,320
they both have
lovely smiles too?
474
00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:22,976
WOMAN: I'm not afraid
to smile anymore
475
00:19:22,906 --> 00:19:26,141
since I started using Grippo.
476
00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:29,312
Now, I don't have to be afraid
my dentures will fall out.
477
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:31,738
Let us all sit down
and get acquainted.
478
00:19:35,579 --> 00:19:36,846
[CHUCKLES]
479
00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:43,346
Why don't you sit here,
beside Jeannie?
480
00:19:43,195 --> 00:19:44,762
Won't that, uh, be a little,
481
00:19:44,699 --> 00:19:46,067
ahem, crowded?
482
00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:47,545
We're not afraid
of being in crowds.
483
00:19:47,484 --> 00:19:49,185
We're protected for 32 hours.
484
00:19:49,116 --> 00:19:50,316
I use
the roll-on.
485
00:19:50,268 --> 00:19:51,535
I use the spray.
486
00:19:51,484 --> 00:19:53,318
I could use a martini.
487
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,594
Here you are.
488
00:19:58,845 --> 00:20:00,045
Hm.
489
00:20:10,717 --> 00:20:11,850
[TIRES SCREECH]
490
00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:36,495
[KNOCKS]
491
00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:40,191
Dr. Bellows.
Great Scott.
492
00:20:40,128 --> 00:20:42,568
Captain Nelson, it's you.
493
00:20:42,977 --> 00:20:45,645
If it wasn't you,
that would mean...
494
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,538
that I was on the wrong street.
495
00:20:47,457 --> 00:20:48,658
I beg your pardon, sir.
496
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:50,010
Now, captain, since both of us
497
00:20:49,953 --> 00:20:51,153
are basically scientists,
498
00:20:51,105 --> 00:20:52,906
we know that
it's entirely possible,
499
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,868
with modern methods of
prefabrication,
500
00:20:54,785 --> 00:20:56,686
to build a house
within twenty minutes.
501
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,644
You believe that,
don't you, captain?
502
00:20:58,562 --> 00:21:00,163
No, sir.
I don't either.
503
00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:07,250
If you look across the street,
504
00:21:07,202 --> 00:21:09,971
you'll see a house
on my vacant lot.
505
00:21:09,859 --> 00:21:11,893
What house is that, sir?
506
00:21:11,811 --> 00:21:13,178
Don't humor me, captain.
507
00:21:13,123 --> 00:21:15,224
When I tell you there's
a house across the street,
508
00:21:15,139 --> 00:21:16,540
I mean there's a...
509
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,285
A vacant lot.
510
00:21:20,996 --> 00:21:23,830
With Captain Healey
sitting in the middle of it.
511
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,917
Captain Healey, sir?
512
00:21:30,277 --> 00:21:31,577
Hm?
513
00:21:36,742 --> 00:21:39,711
I think I'll go home
and lie down.
514
00:21:40,614 --> 00:21:42,415
That might be best, sir.
515
00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:44,643
And everything you've
said tonight will, of course,
516
00:21:44,550 --> 00:21:46,518
remain strictly between us.
517
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:03,860
[SIGHS]
518
00:22:03,816 --> 00:22:05,450
Thank you, Jeannie.
519
00:22:07,337 --> 00:22:09,238
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
520
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,827
You are pleased with me, master.
521
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,828
I certainly am pleased with you.
522
00:22:12,744 --> 00:22:14,645
Well, then may I invite
a friend over?
523
00:22:14,569 --> 00:22:15,869
[LAUGHS]
524
00:22:15,816 --> 00:22:18,176
Yeah, you can invite over
anybody you want to.
525
00:22:19,914 --> 00:22:22,716
We are gathered here today
to join this man
526
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:25,603
and this woman
in holy matrimony.
527
00:22:31,946 --> 00:22:35,148
Oh, good morning, Roge.
How are you feeling?
528
00:22:35,018 --> 00:22:36,819
Terrible.
529
00:22:36,746 --> 00:22:38,847
Oh, boy. Terrible.
530
00:22:38,762 --> 00:22:40,930
What a...
What a night. Phew.
531
00:22:40,843 --> 00:22:42,177
Yeah?
Well, what happened?
532
00:22:42,123 --> 00:22:43,924
Did you meet Jeannie's
mother and father?
533
00:22:43,852 --> 00:22:45,019
Yeah, I met them all right.
534
00:22:44,972 --> 00:22:47,273
It was like tuning into
a commercial, you know.
535
00:22:47,180 --> 00:22:49,047
Now, don't get me wrong.
They were great, you know.
536
00:22:48,971 --> 00:22:51,073
Real backbone of America.
537
00:22:50,988 --> 00:22:52,555
What's so terrible about that?
538
00:22:52,492 --> 00:22:54,326
Me.
539
00:22:54,252 --> 00:22:56,454
Boy, I must have been
on liquid oxygen.
540
00:22:56,365 --> 00:22:58,865
You know, I got so smashed,
I blacked out,
541
00:22:58,764 --> 00:23:01,600
wandered outside of the house
and wound up in a vacant lot.
542
00:23:02,317 --> 00:23:04,085
No.
Yeah.
543
00:23:04,013 --> 00:23:05,480
Boy, she must really
be sore at me.
544
00:23:05,421 --> 00:23:08,924
I went back there to apologize
to her today, and she moved.
545
00:23:08,782 --> 00:23:10,749
I mean she moved.
The whole house was gone.
546
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:14,991
Now I have to start looking
for her all over again.
547
00:23:14,862 --> 00:23:16,863
Well... good luck, Roge.
548
00:23:18,318 --> 00:23:19,786
Good luck.
Yeah.
549
00:23:20,783 --> 00:23:21,783
[SIGHS]
550
00:23:22,959 --> 00:23:25,594
Look, uh, Tony, if you, uh,
run across her, uh,
551
00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:26,753
maybe you could let me know.
552
00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:27,703
Uh, if you, uh...
553
00:23:27,663 --> 00:23:28,798
Sure, Roge.
554
00:23:28,752 --> 00:23:30,052
Sure.
555
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,200
It's a...
556
00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:34,604
[?]
557
00:24:34,605 --> 00:25:34,874
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